When I became a mother, I was congratulated. It’s seen as an achievement, a milestone. But what no one tells you is that behind those congratulations lies a weight—a weight that often falls disproportionately on the mother. Emotionally, physically, mentally—it’s mothers who bear the brunt of parenthood. Let’s face it: society’s gaze is fixed on us, scrutinizing every move, every decision.

The bond between a mother and her child is profound. It’s biological, chemical, even physical. But this connection, beautiful as it is, comes with a burden. Mothers are often held accountable—blamed, even—for every aspect of their child’s destiny. It’s not an exaggeration; it’s my reality. And it’s not just about the lack of support from those around us, but how that support is given. There’s always a lingering stigma, a whisper that says, You’re not good enough.

This responsibility, which should be solely about your child, somehow becomes a responsibility to everyone else. The world watches, judges, and compares. When you don’t want to compare, reasons for comparison appear. When you don’t need to compete, competition finds you. It strips away the essence of being your child’s mother and replaces it with the pressure to be the mother the world expects.

But here’s the truth: your child is yours. And more importantly, your child is their own person. As a mother, I’ve had to confront the worst part of myself—the part that strives to be the “perfect” mother, the one I’ve read about, the one I’ve seen, the one society idealizes. But motherhood isn’t about achieving some unattainable standard. It’s about focusing on what truly matters: your child.

Forget the noise. Forget the expectations. You’re not raising someone else’s child, and no one else is raising yours. Whether you have help from nannies, grandparents, apps, or blogs—thank you, but that doesn’t define your worth as a mother. No one gets to tell you that you’re not good enough. Not the stay-at-home mom who sacrifices her dreams to be there for every milestone, nor the working mom who balances career and family to secure her child’s future. Both are valid. Both are enough.

You’re raising your child for them—not for the world. So when the judgments come, let them flow in one ear and out the other. It doesn’t matter if it’s your own mother, a friend, or a stranger. Their children are not your children. Their journey is not yours. Your child is unique, and so is your path as their mother.

Your child is not your prize, though they may feel like a gift. Their successes are theirs to own, not a reflection of you. Their failures are theirs to learn from, not yours to carry. No matter what anyone says, you are the mother. You are the best mother for your child. God chose you for them, and that’s enough.

This message extends to stepmothers and foster mothers too. If you’re raising a child, you’re their mother, and you are good enough. And no, I’m not talking about those who help—that’s a different role, one of support, not parenthood. Certainly not motherhood.

PS: I have a nanny, my own mother helps me, and I’m subscribed to every mommy blog and baby app out there. I don’t discredit these resources—they’re lifesavers. But I refuse to accept judgment for not being “good enough.” Because I am. And so are you.