I Wrote a Lot.

Yes, you read that right. I wrote a lot.

But it’s all in the past tense. I haven’t written anything that even compares to what I used to create. Those were the days when my mind overflowed with stories, poems, and drafts stacked upon drafts in Scrivener.

It’s been so long, to be honest… so long that I almost convinced myself that I quit.

I battled with myself for years—caught between the words I once penned and the debris of unfinished thoughts scattered in my mind. Each time a novel idea came to me, it seemed like it was meant to be; but often, I’d find myself lost in an internal monologue, wondering why I couldn’t get the words out the way I once did.

It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it? When creativity runs dry, and the words you once poured so freely now feel foreign. So, I do what I can. Sometimes, I record my thoughts late at night, when I’m too sleepy to think straight.

In the stillness of the night, I’m intoxicated with sleepiness. I speak my thoughts into the recorder, thinking I’ve come up with some profound idea, some stroke of genius. But when I listen to them the next morning, the cringey reality sets in, and I can’t help but laugh at myself. Still, I save those audio recordings, backing them up on online drives, just in case. Because even though those words may not make sense right now, maybe—just maybe—the future will hold some meaning for them.

A writer friend once suggested I should publish these recordings as blog posts, especially as I ranted about how Amazon KDP self-publishing wasn’t happening as smoothly as I’d hoped. At first, I thought it would be the perfect way to motivate myself. But, in true fashion, I brushed aside the idea for almost an entire year.

But sometimes, the universe has a way of throwing us challenges that aren’t just random—they’re meant to teach us. As I’ve mentioned before, the struggles we face often refine our patience and our gratitude. And this… this is yet another lesson in the journey. Alhamdulillah, I’m grateful for the time that has passed.

For context, the pictures in this post don’t really have much to do with my random ranting. They’re remnants of Twitter writer tags I participated in—a way for writers to share their works in progress (WIPs), and the viral Penguin Classics trend that had everyone buzzing (and, of course, some people hating too).

Life had other plans for me, though. My domain had been on hiatus for over a year. The political drama back home in the Philippines, the global pandemic that still doesn’t feel like it’s truly over, and the heartbreaking crisis in Sri Lanka—these things have a way of making you put your projects on the back-burner. But now, alhamdulillah, my blog is LIVE again.

It’s funny how life works, right? How it forces you to pause and reflect. And yet, sometimes, those pauses are exactly what you need. It’s almost as if I’ve returned to the roots of why I started writing in the first place—to share, to express, to learn, and to grow.

I’ve been considering sharing my writings again, as if I’m back on WattPad. If I can combine that with a platform like BuyMeACoffee, maybe I can make my work accessible to members through a subscription. Why not? It feels right—giving people a way to support what I do, while keeping that sense of exclusivity.

After all, this journey isn’t just about me anymore; it’s about creating something meaningful for others too.