Today, I woke up feeling sore—muscle aches, back pain… probably because my Monday workout was canceled. Or maybe… it’s just 36 making its way into my bones.

On a more sincere note, I want to share something that many might find unprogressive, especially when it comes to the social aspects of life.

👉 READ THIS: Should Muslims Celebrate Birthdays?

Birthdays: A Well-Accepted Tradition… But Should It Be?

The first time I heard the Islamic perspective on birthdays, it was from my husband. Coming from a culture where birthdays and anniversaries were celebrated without a second thought, I initially found it absurd. It felt strange—like letting go of something deeply ingrained in my life.

As a new revert, I often had to hold things up against logic, questioning everything I had grown up with. But in the end, it all boiled down to a single, defining choice:

💡 Do I choose Islam, fully and wholeheartedly, or do I pick and choose what suits me?

I won’t pretend that I’ve never attended birthday celebrations or greeted my non-Muslim family on theirs. That would be dishonest. But #Alhamdulillah, I no longer feel the need to make my own a big deal.

Navigating Workplace Culture & Social Expectations

In professional settings, traditions like birthdays often blend into the workplace culture. They lighten the mood, create camaraderie between colleagues, and offer a break from daily tasks. But as Muslims, we need to be more mindful of these seemingly small, harmless practices—because little things add up. And before we know it, they become a big thing to deal with.

I’m no longer in an office setting, so maybe it’s easier for me to say this now. But looking back, there are things I wish I had been more conscious of when I was still surrounded by these social expectations.

1. Mind Your Boundaries

Let’s be real—navigating gatherings as a Muslim isn’t always easy, especially when it involves free-mixing between non-mahrams. Some settings are relatively harmless, but many expose us to makrooh or even haram things.

Would any Muslim in their right mind willingly play a cake-smearing game with a non-mahram colleague? Feed each other cake like newlyweds? Probably not. But I’ve seen situations where people laugh it off as just “team bonding.”

Here’s a simple test:

👉 If the photos or videos from that event were shared on social media—would you feel comfortable with your spouse, parents, siblings, or children seeing them?

👉 If someone who looks up to you—a younger sibling, a junior at work, or a new revert—saw those moments, would it reflect the Muslim identity you want to uphold?

If the answer is no, then something about that gathering crosses a line. Even if you don’t post it, someone else might.

2. Attend for Courtesy, Not Conformity

This is where it gets tricky. Some might think refusing to celebrate birthdays means being anti-social, but that’s not the case. These events are not mandatory, and you shouldn’t feel pressured into joining.

💬 “Don’t be a party pooper.”
💬 “Come on, it’s just for fun.”
💬 “We’ll include this in the KPI!”
💬 “Just do it for the boss!”

Brother. Sister. You don’t have to cave in. If you’ve already attended the gathering, greeted people, and had your tea—it’s okay to excuse yourself.

🚪 “I’ve gotta go.”
🎂 “I’ll skip the cake, thanks.”

That’s it. No need to over-explain. No guilt-tripping yourself into things that compromise your boundaries, whether they are religious or simply personal. If you decline consistently, people will eventually respect your stance.

3. Keep Your Intentions in Check

The real test isn’t just about avoiding birthday traditions—it’s about making sure you don’t normalize them in your own life. If someone asks why you don’t celebrate, don’t turn it into a debate. Keep it simple.

💡 Smile. Explain calmly. Let your actions speak louder than words.

And here’s something to reflect on, even outside of birthdays:

If you are with the right people—your real tribe—they will accept you as you are. Including your religious boundaries.

But if you find yourself constantly explaining, constantly justifying, constantly feeling like you need to “prove” your faith to fit in… maybe it’s time to reassess your circle.

Because at the end of the day, true respect comes from standing firm in your beliefs—not from pleasing people at the expense of your Deen.

✋ Stop being a people pleaser.
❤️ Prioritize self-respect over social approval.

And if the world stands against you, stand with Allah. That’s the only place where you’ll find real success.