In order to establish communication, input has to come from both ways. In IT, we know this as Data transferred successfully via a communication medium that connects the sending and receiving devices.
For humans, the medium is not only a separate entity we connect to, like the combination of our words plus our gadgets, but one that slowly builds or becomes through successful ‘connection’/’engagement’ with one another. i.e. It will only exist once there is a real connection is made in the minds of the speaker and listener.
That’s where the problem almost always occur…
It can be the underlying predicament they are experiencing together and how they are reacting differently, their background knowledge and their experience compared with one another, their beliefs, reasoning, prejudice, emotions, etc.
Having all these controlled in one go for both individuals is almost impossible, but could be practised until perfect, at least with your expected and target audience.
Scrolling through LinkedIn I find random gems about mindful listening… The idea goes: Listening is an integral part of communication, where if handled so to reply or debate, rather than understand (and while this could go both ways), would most likely cause unnecessary exchanges.
One thing that crossed my mind after reading about this, is that I have come across something that is equally if not more important matter.
And that is the etiquette (Aadab) of TALKING in Islam.
Why this is a matter that is discussed and should be practised more is because, as Muslims, we value our good deeds. We invest in it, on quite literally everything we do, with intentions at the heart of it. We believe, at the end of it all, we will be judged by how our deeds weigh on the scale. The good. And the bad.
Most indefinitely, the medium of communication for humans is in the form of collective words, forming speech. When we talk, there is an intention of talking, and when the words are formed on our tongue, set free with our voice. The deed is DONE.
It’s not exactly the same as the intention of listening. There is hearing to understand, hearing to only appear listening, and there is accidentally hearing of something as well. In the end, there may be a chance that the deed is halfway through, depending on the action taken after hearing/listening or if there was any action taken at all.
Furthermore, what registers in the mind or thought when hearing something, most often depend on how the message was delivered and the existing ambience of the situation or even the predisposition of the person hearing. And that is something more difficult to control, let alone sometimes even be aware of.
Speaking, however, relying on these same vindications per se, always have a moment in time, say a couple of seconds or even fraction, to actually let the words out. And words make every difference there is in a conversation. When communicating with someone, it’s not usually what you choose to hear or understand. Indeed words, are the most precise things often misunderstood.
NOTE: These images are not mine. Found them on Pinterest…
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